ravenry | charles catchall

[ reading this from a jan character is wild. love this for you.

meanwhile, there is a little surprise at what he says but otherwise, shouxue is feeling mostly fine. not great but not terrible. she looks more or less how she feels. ]

You don't have to smile around me. The message was....

[ not great. bad. terrible. it is hard for her to find the words. ]

... It was pretty bad. [he shrugs.] I'm pretty upset, but I'll be okay.

[as callous as it might sound. he's grieving, but he's not someone who needs that much time for it.]

Besides, I really am glad to see everyone else okay, so that's worth smiling over.

[ everyone grieves differently. she isn't going to judge when she's seen a full spectrum. ]

... At least you can find a reason to smile. [ she doesn't exactly wish that were her, but she sort of wishes that were her. ] Two is still a lot. [ considering how many of them there are. ] Do you think we'll find out what happened?

[ will they be told anything? (no, but she doesn't know that yet.) ]

... The senior crew's looking into it, but if they don't figure anything out, then they might have us investigate tomorrow, as well as do an autopsy.

Luke, I have some guesses for, but how Dahut died is a completely mystery.

[ her mood sours a little. ]

... Was that them last night, trying the override? I'll investigate, if it comes to it, but... why do you say that about Luke?

Seems like it. [...] We saw Luke die. I suspect he might've had health issues already.

[ her mood shifts, and she feels down for a moment, but it regulates to feeling fine again. ]

You saw him die? It... Was it natural?

... It's hard to say for sure. It could've been—I suspect Luke had health issues already. But I can't actually conclude that it was natural and there wasn't anything external triggering them.

[ shouxue continues to feel fine even as she looks thoughtful. ]

Where were you two last night? Nothing out of the ordinary happened before he left us, did it?

Observation deck. Dahut was there too, along with a lot of other people. [...] The only unusual thing was that we were experiencing pains the entire time we were locked in, but... those were coming from Luke, it seems.

[they stopped when he died.]

[ this is all very concerning things to hear. her emotions reflect none of that. ]

I hope it is only a coincidence that both Luke and Dahut were in the same room last night. I am sorry you and the others had to feel that.

[ what were likely his dying pains.

i am sorry luke had to feel that at all. ]

Wish sharing them could've at least taken off some of the pain from Luke.

[well, i wish he wasn't dead at all.]

... Actually, I wish he'd said anything at all about his condition, if he had one, but I know that's an unfair thought to have.

It would be better if he were alive to tell any of us anything at all, but I can understand keeping something like that secret.

[ even if my reasons would be different. ]

There are many things easier left unsaid, and... he seemed like the type who didn't want to worry others.

Yeah, I figured that was why he didn't say anything.

[sure wish i had, though—but no point in that now.]

[ she looks at him curiously. ]

What did you want to say?

[he shrugs.]

He and I were standing guard at the door together when we were locked in, so I noticed he was feeling worse. Didn't seem like he wanted to people to know, though, so I kept quiet.

[wasn't worth watching him die for. but it's not helpful to think like that.

anyway the takeaway here is that privacy is overrated, actually?]

[ privacy is overrated!!! wish shouxue would agree.

she frowns. ]

You were trying to respect his wishes. It's not like you knew. It is a regret now, but it doesn't have to be a regret in the future. What would you say to him, if you could see him again?