I'm probably going to talk to the crew tomorrow and see if I can get any more answers about the security of the ship. Now that we know this is likely going to continue, that gives us time to look into this sort of thing and be better prepared instead of standing by while someone's locked in with something potentially dangerous. We got lucky today...even if lucky isn't normally the word I'd use.
[ and speaking of. ]
...the lockdowns are going to continue, too. Are you still going to stay by yourself?
You are better equipped to handle that kind of conversation. [ she is adapting to technology well enough, but the intricacies still go over her head. ] Lucky is such a double-edged word to use for today, but we may need luck for whatever answers you may receive.
[ they couldn't see anything last week, but they can see something this week. she doesn't know if that's better or worse in terms of security?
she goes silent at his question for a moment, and she has the audacity to look away even though they're walking. ]
.... Dion convinced me not to seclude myself, but I'm not going to reach out to anyone.
[ it is a nonanswer, but at least it's not a lie. ]
I'll see what I can find out. I'd like to start with Adrastea first. And then maybe some of the others who might have an idea for how it works and where it's being controlled from. I don't know if I'll get any clear answers either, but trying's better than nothing.
[ some progress was made today for better or worse. he'd rather be prepared as best as he can. shouxue looks away and shoma turns his head to stare at her as they walk. ]
...it's up to you to decide, but if you want you can come with me and Mizuki wherever we end up. Probably Charles, too, and some other people.
Ruling out anything is still conclusive in a sense. [ ...hum. he notices this, but he isn't entirely sure what to make of it just yet. ]
Okay. I'll let you know as soon as I know. [ ... ] Would you feel better if you had a say in where we were going? Or is the idea of being with people at all what's uncomfortable?
I do not mind where we go. It is inconsequential if we will all lose consciousness.
[ she is silent for a long moment before she answers the next part. ]
I was raised a certain way. It... The circumstances do not apply as much here, but it is still difficult to... go against it. [ she adds more quietly: ] I feel guilt.
[ he doesn't rush her, simply accepting the silence and walking along with her until she feels like continuing. there's a moment he seems to consider this before choosing how to reply. ]
...guilt for trying to rely on someone other than yourself? Or...[ another pause. ] Sorry. You don't have to explain if you don't want to. [ and that seems like it'll be all he says, but after a few moments he continues again. ] Guilt, no matter the source, is a pretty hard thing to let go of no matter what anyone else says. Even if you wish it were easier sometimes.
It is hard to let go of guilt, but even if I know something is wrong to do, I sometimes do it anyway. [ she is young, and she is weak. ] This ship is not the inner palace.
[ he accepts this with a nod. it's not like he's going to force her to talk, especially when he himself is definitely not much of a talker when it comes to personal issues. ]
I think you aren't the only one. [ is all he says. he thinks that's part of being human in general, but he doesn't point that out. ] The ship is different for just about everyone. So the best we can do is try to adapt with what we have and hope we can survive.
Knowing that is one thing. It's remembering it that's going to always be a little more difficult. [ but...as long as they keep talking about it, maybe there's some hope after all. ]
no subject
I'm probably going to talk to the crew tomorrow and see if I can get any more answers about the security of the ship. Now that we know this is likely going to continue, that gives us time to look into this sort of thing and be better prepared instead of standing by while someone's locked in with something potentially dangerous. We got lucky today...even if lucky isn't normally the word I'd use.
[ and speaking of. ]
...the lockdowns are going to continue, too. Are you still going to stay by yourself?
no subject
[ they couldn't see anything last week, but they can see something this week. she doesn't know if that's better or worse in terms of security?
she goes silent at his question for a moment, and she has the audacity to look away even though they're walking. ]
.... Dion convinced me not to seclude myself, but I'm not going to reach out to anyone.
[ it is a nonanswer, but at least it's not a lie. ]
no subject
[ some progress was made today for better or worse. he'd rather be prepared as best as he can. shouxue looks away and shoma turns his head to stare at her as they walk. ]
...it's up to you to decide, but if you want you can come with me and Mizuki wherever we end up. Probably Charles, too, and some other people.
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[ better to try than to regret not trying.
she still isn't looking at him. ]
... I won't resist, if you tell me where you choose to go for lockdown.
no subject
Okay. I'll let you know as soon as I know. [ ... ] Would you feel better if you had a say in where we were going? Or is the idea of being with people at all what's uncomfortable?
no subject
[ she is silent for a long moment before she answers the next part. ]
I was raised a certain way. It... The circumstances do not apply as much here, but it is still difficult to... go against it. [ she adds more quietly: ] I feel guilt.
no subject
...guilt for trying to rely on someone other than yourself? Or...[ another pause. ] Sorry. You don't have to explain if you don't want to. [ and that seems like it'll be all he says, but after a few moments he continues again. ] Guilt, no matter the source, is a pretty hard thing to let go of no matter what anyone else says. Even if you wish it were easier sometimes.
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[ she is not ready to divulge all her issues. ]
It is hard to let go of guilt, but even if I know something is wrong to do, I sometimes do it anyway. [ she is young, and she is weak. ] This ship is not the inner palace.
no subject
I think you aren't the only one. [ is all he says. he thinks that's part of being human in general, but he doesn't point that out. ] The ship is different for just about everyone. So the best we can do is try to adapt with what we have and hope we can survive.
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[ adapt with what they have and hope they can survive. ]
no subject