[ they can be in the air for this. observing the art of paintball, perhaps. but he's hovering in the air and turns his head a little to look at her. ]
Hi. I was wondering when you'd speak up. [ he had a few guesses to who this may have been before, and he knew it was a friend, so to speak, but everything else was a mystery. ] It's good to see you...eeeeven if it's like this.
Even pixelated, it's kinda cute, Shouxue. [ so tiny, so pink, so stabby... ] But I get it. It's a little harder when you don't look like yourself. I wasn't expecting to see you guys this soon either, but...I'm glad. I know it hasn't even been long but it still feels like it has. Does that make sense?
[ tsun to tsun communication...he doesn't mind the pat. ]
Like watching something on a screen but not being able to react in real time. You know what's happening, but you can't be there to change anything or talk to us. [ ... ] It sounds a little frustrating.
Frustrating... it's a good way to say it. [ shoma continues to understand what she gets at. ] I didn't think watching you all investigate would be worse than being there, but...
[ she didn't think trial watching would be fun, but it really wasn't fun. ]
No, I can imagine it, I think. [ he's no longer really participating in paintball, he's just flying them through the air easily and testing his iron man suit while they talk. ] It's harder to watch knowing what we're actually going through and realizing there isn't a way to intervene or even offer ideas. Like having the answers but no problem to solve.
[ ... ]
I've heard you guys can see everything, but...watching a trial from the outside sounds pretty nerve-wracking, too.
[ they can get away from all the paint. that's fine. she was never that invested in winning. ]
Anything in public, we can see. It's like you are a movie but it is in real time. The things you leave for everyone to see, we can see, too. We can hear, too.
... When things became tense at the end of the last trial, I was angry with no way to do anything about it.
[ he'll take note of that, at least. it's nice to have the confirmation that there isn't a delay when it comes to those things. but there's also a frown when it comes to that last piece. ]
Last week's trial...[ ... ] I was pretty mad for a little while after, because if people had been more reactive to what was happening we really could've voted for the wrong person, for the wrong reasons, and whatever takes hold of you guys could've continued to grow worse because Dion would still be here. I can kind of understand why someone would throw themselves in like that to try and save someone they care about, but it feels less like saving them and more...selfish, maybe? To keep them here when something is obviously controlling them. It's not like I'm happy we have to lose you guys either, but I'd rather you be free from this stupid thing instead of letting it hurt you and others worse.
To be honest, this usually doesn't happen to begin with. [ glitching, shapeshifting, what-have-you. ] But it's okay. Seems like these forms are a little harder to keep solid for you guys for long periods of time.
[ earlier, he tried to tackle woboji and luke glitched out causing shoma to eat shit. he is thinking about that specifically. ]
It isn't that surprising, and I would count myself lucky to be able to talk to you like this again. [ even if it might make the ache of missing people she likes deeper later. ] If you want me to call someone a fool for you later, I will.
[ she does mean luke.
she shifts in arms so she can get a better look at him. ]
Thank you, Shoma, for understanding. [ she is making this conversation whiplash, but she wants to address what he said before she glitched. ] It would have been crueler to leave someone affected alive, trapped with something that made them less like themself. You may save a life, but would you be saving a person? I appreciate the way you think and behave more than most on this ship.
I would also count this as lucky. Not all of us can usually communicate with people who're gone...so I'm willing to take advantage as long s I can. [ ms. ghost whisperer. there's a grin though. ] I won't stop you if you think it's necessary.
[ rip in luke. but he allows her to shift, watching her closely and his expression settles into something more thoughtful when she speaks. ]
Of course though. I...people may find it hard to remember, especially when it's someone they really like, but if I have to remind them myself, I will. It isn't fair to cling to something that isn't really the same anymore. I've talked to enough of you after we've voted correctly each weekend, and...I'm not going to say I totally get it, but I can only imagine how scary it is to be aware that you behaved unusually but still not be fully yourselves. [ ... ] The feeling of being essentially trapped in your own body isn't a good one. Knowing that things you're experiencing aren't your fault but having to live with the consequences isn't sound any better. I would rather save a person and try to figure out how to fix their life than keep them here and force them to in an unfair situation.
[ it's affection week, so she gives him a light hug. ]
You could point out to us how we aren't like ourselves, but even if we can realize it.... we still can't see it as not ourselves. Not until we die. That's how Scien, Eunhyuk, Sheba, and I all felt. [ she hasn't talked to Dion about it yet. ] We didn't realize how much we weren't ourselves until we woke up where we are now. I don't know if you've all been looking into a way to free someone without killing them, but until you can, death is mercy.
[ he is right that to save any of those affected, they can't be kept alive. ]
Other people need more reminding than you do, but if they can't accept it after so many weeks, I don't know how else to get through to them.
Mm...that sounds about right from talking to you all. [ he's gone to visit the jailed people every week so far half to get their thoughts and half because...well. those are all friends. ] I can't imagine that's much more pleasant either once the realization hits. I don't know about anybody else, but I've spent more time trying to understand what this thing even is in the hopes of stopping it before it can infect somebody. That way maybe we wouldn't have to worry about death at all.
[ but until then...as sad as it is, death is the answer to stopping them. ]
I'm doing my best to keep people on track. [ he did! his best! in trial! partially because of this conversation, actually. ] But I don't know how else to do it either. Similarly to talking to you guys when you're afflicted, there are just some people who can't see things when it's personally affecting them. I wish I had a little more influence, sometimes. Not that I think it'd help too much.
What it is exactly.... we don't know for sure either.
[ she touches the flower in her hair, and then she glitches out for a second. she frowns when she glitches back. ]
I know you are. [ she stanned shoma in yesterday's trial. ] You're helping more than you know. You don't have to loud or unpleasant to have an effect. [ he can get the sense she is thinking of some specific people when she says this because she's still too much of a teenager to completely hide her feelings. ] You're more liked than you think.
For a while I thought it might've been a malevolent spirit. I...meant to talk to you about that, but then things escalated. [ she. killed sidon. so. that happened. ] I'm a little less sure of that and I'm back to thinking it could be an airborne virus. But I'm still running tests.
[ she glitches again, and he tightens his grip slightly when she glitches back just to make sure he doesn't actually lose her. let's not drop friends, shall we? ]
...thanks. [ he looks a little sheepish with that. likewise, he is also still too much of a teenager to hide everything. ] It's a nice change of pace, at least. But more than being liked I want to make sure we're doing the right thing for everyone, especially you guys. The other part's just a bonus, I think.
It is not a spirit. I am reasonably sure of that. [ she reaches up and taps his forehead. ] It is more towards something you're used to than I am. Although used to may not be the right term.
[ she shakes her head. ]
I like you more because of how much you are trying to do right by us and how much you actually are. [ she goes quiet for a moment, and when she speaks again, her voice is very soft. ] I was unhappy with a lot of people and how they behaved. How they spoke. How they baited Dion when they didn't need to, when it was clear they already knew.
He was guilty, and they had every right to be upset with him for taking away someone they care about, but what did trying to make him act out in violence again serve? Shoma, you are doing more than fine. You're doing wonderfully.
[ he scrunches his eyebrows together a little on instinct when she does, but that puts some things into context, too. ]
I have a few theories, to say the least, based on some things I'm used to. I can't say one way or another without more information, but if it's something more solid than spiritual that puts us on the right track.
[ he doesn't interrupt her while she speaks, listening closely and giving her space to explain herself. even when she finishes, he's quiet. ]
It's...really, really easy for people's emotions to get in the way when it comes to something like this. Someone they care about is taken away, or someone they care about is accused and there's the threat of them being taken away. It's easy to fall into a trap of trying to draw attention to yourself, or trying to goad the suspect into answering exactly the way that you want so you can have an answer, guilt-free. But I agree. Nobody needed to do that. It was obvious in what Dion wasn't saying more than in what he was, and if people don't think he wouldn't confess to a crime if he could then I don't think they knew him as well as they may have thought. I can't claim to have known him as well as others either, but...the Dion I know is a man who's done some terrible things that he regrets and that he's still trying to recover from. I don't think he would hide. He'd want to be found.
[ ... ] To be honest with you, Shouxue, I think it's only a little easier for me because this isn't the first time I've been in a situation like this. I mean not...to this extent. But back home, we were just finishing with a murder investigation and solving a serial killing case. Things got bad for a while, and I think I learned that you can't scream or cry or force people to do anything because they'll still act the way they think is best for them. Even if it might hurt you. [ ... ] I'm not going to stop trying. Sparing feelings only delays the problem anyway. But...it does mean a lot to me to hear you say that.
Scien called it self-satisfaction, and I couldn't bring myself to disagree. I don't know Dion as well as others, but he wears repentance like armor.
[ she is less frustrated now than she was then. ]
You have? [ she's surprised, but it puts enough into context, especially with how he's reacted and their conversations. she is sorry anyone has to deal with anything like this at any time. (it is all of them, as they are all dealing with murder after murder. ] There is a clarity that comes with experience.
Most of my ghosts are isolated murders or deaths. It's already tragic enough, but serial killing... You must have gone through so much.
That's a good way of putting it. [ he respects scien, horribly, so having it put into words makes him think on it. ] The feeling of being correct and above it all. To prove that they solved something without realizing the point is to help them.
[ or maybe that's his projection. he doesn't reply to the rest of that immediately because...he is from an uchikoshi game, there are so many things that have gone wrong in his life. ]
...he was active about six years ago and then went dormant. The police couldn't follow the trail and the case went cold for a while. But something recently happened to make the case resurface. [ ... ] They called it the Half-Body Serial Killings, because the guy behind it would cut his victims into two even halves, leaving them in different parts of the city. The first body that was found belonged to a man named Jin Furue. But only the right half. Six years later, his left half was left in the middle of the field at Tokyo stadium. They had to reopen the case, especially when the culprit turned up dead, too.
[ she listens quietly, and she can't hide the grimace at the description. she may have seen her fair share of gore in ghosts, but it takes a lot of something to cleave someone evenly in two and do it serially. ]
That's a horrific way to murder. The culprit was found dead? Did someone take it into their own hands?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 4, wednesday
Hello, Shoma.
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Hi. I was wondering when you'd speak up. [ he had a few guesses to who this may have been before, and he knew it was a friend, so to speak, but everything else was a mystery. ] It's good to see you...eeeeven if it's like this.
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[ she's a little embarrassed to be an octopuff. ]
I didn't expect to see you again so soon, even like this. [
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Even pixelated, it's kinda cute, Shouxue. [ so tiny, so pink, so stabby... ] But I get it. It's a little harder when you don't look like yourself. I wasn't expecting to see you guys this soon either, but...I'm glad. I know it hasn't even been long but it still feels like it has. Does that make sense?
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the octopuff turns red. she huffs before she pats his cheek with a tiny tentacle. ]
I feel the same way. It's strange to see all of you over there but... not see you. It makes the divide more noticeable.
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Like watching something on a screen but not being able to react in real time. You know what's happening, but you can't be there to change anything or talk to us. [ ... ] It sounds a little frustrating.
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Frustrating... it's a good way to say it. [ shoma continues to understand what she gets at. ] I didn't think watching you all investigate would be worse than being there, but...
[ she didn't think trial watching would be fun, but it really wasn't fun. ]
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[ ... ]
I've heard you guys can see everything, but...watching a trial from the outside sounds pretty nerve-wracking, too.
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Anything in public, we can see. It's like you are a movie but it is in real time. The things you leave for everyone to see, we can see, too. We can hear, too.
... When things became tense at the end of the last trial, I was angry with no way to do anything about it.
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Last week's trial...[ ... ] I was pretty mad for a little while after, because if people had been more reactive to what was happening we really could've voted for the wrong person, for the wrong reasons, and whatever takes hold of you guys could've continued to grow worse because Dion would still be here. I can kind of understand why someone would throw themselves in like that to try and save someone they care about, but it feels less like saving them and more...selfish, maybe? To keep them here when something is obviously controlling them. It's not like I'm happy we have to lose you guys either, but I'd rather you be free from this stupid thing instead of letting it hurt you and others worse.
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[ she glitches out of her octopuff self and into an avatar of her actual self. she throws her arms around him because they're still flying. ]
Wah!
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Are you okay? [ this glitching is terrible! but also he does not mind seeing her instead of the puff. ]
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[ not that she understands technology like this, but the glitching is beyond her. ]
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[ earlier, he tried to tackle woboji and luke glitched out causing shoma to eat shit. he is thinking about that specifically. ]
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[ she does mean luke.
she shifts in arms so she can get a better look at him. ]
Thank you, Shoma, for understanding. [ she is making this conversation whiplash, but she wants to address what he said before she glitched. ] It would have been crueler to leave someone affected alive, trapped with something that made them less like themself. You may save a life, but would you be saving a person? I appreciate the way you think and behave more than most on this ship.
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[ rip in luke. but he allows her to shift, watching her closely and his expression settles into something more thoughtful when she speaks. ]
Of course though. I...people may find it hard to remember, especially when it's someone they really like, but if I have to remind them myself, I will. It isn't fair to cling to something that isn't really the same anymore. I've talked to enough of you after we've voted correctly each weekend, and...I'm not going to say I totally get it, but I can only imagine how scary it is to be aware that you behaved unusually but still not be fully yourselves. [ ... ] The feeling of being essentially trapped in your own body isn't a good one. Knowing that things you're experiencing aren't your fault but having to live with the consequences isn't sound any better. I would rather save a person and try to figure out how to fix their life than keep them here and force them to in an unfair situation.
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You could point out to us how we aren't like ourselves, but even if we can realize it.... we still can't see it as not ourselves. Not until we die. That's how Scien, Eunhyuk, Sheba, and I all felt. [ she hasn't talked to Dion about it yet. ] We didn't realize how much we weren't ourselves until we woke up where we are now. I don't know if you've all been looking into a way to free someone without killing them, but until you can, death is mercy.
[ he is right that to save any of those affected, they can't be kept alive. ]
Other people need more reminding than you do, but if they can't accept it after so many weeks, I don't know how else to get through to them.
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Mm...that sounds about right from talking to you all. [ he's gone to visit the jailed people every week so far half to get their thoughts and half because...well. those are all friends. ] I can't imagine that's much more pleasant either once the realization hits. I don't know about anybody else, but I've spent more time trying to understand what this thing even is in the hopes of stopping it before it can infect somebody. That way maybe we wouldn't have to worry about death at all.
[ but until then...as sad as it is, death is the answer to stopping them. ]
I'm doing my best to keep people on track. [ he did! his best! in trial! partially because of this conversation, actually. ] But I don't know how else to do it either. Similarly to talking to you guys when you're afflicted, there are just some people who can't see things when it's personally affecting them. I wish I had a little more influence, sometimes. Not that I think it'd help too much.
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[ she touches the flower in her hair, and then she glitches out for a second. she frowns when she glitches back. ]
I know you are. [ she stanned shoma in yesterday's trial. ] You're helping more than you know. You don't have to loud or unpleasant to have an effect. [ he can get the sense she is thinking of some specific people when she says this because she's still too much of a teenager to completely hide her feelings. ] You're more liked than you think.
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[ she glitches again, and he tightens his grip slightly when she glitches back just to make sure he doesn't actually lose her. let's not drop friends, shall we? ]
...thanks. [ he looks a little sheepish with that. likewise, he is also still too much of a teenager to hide everything. ] It's a nice change of pace, at least. But more than being liked I want to make sure we're doing the right thing for everyone, especially you guys. The other part's just a bonus, I think.
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[ she shakes her head. ]
I like you more because of how much you are trying to do right by us and how much you actually are. [ she goes quiet for a moment, and when she speaks again, her voice is very soft. ] I was unhappy with a lot of people and how they behaved. How they spoke. How they baited Dion when they didn't need to, when it was clear they already knew.
He was guilty, and they had every right to be upset with him for taking away someone they care about, but what did trying to make him act out in violence again serve? Shoma, you are doing more than fine. You're doing wonderfully.
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I have a few theories, to say the least, based on some things I'm used to. I can't say one way or another without more information, but if it's something more solid than spiritual that puts us on the right track.
[ he doesn't interrupt her while she speaks, listening closely and giving her space to explain herself. even when she finishes, he's quiet. ]
It's...really, really easy for people's emotions to get in the way when it comes to something like this. Someone they care about is taken away, or someone they care about is accused and there's the threat of them being taken away. It's easy to fall into a trap of trying to draw attention to yourself, or trying to goad the suspect into answering exactly the way that you want so you can have an answer, guilt-free. But I agree. Nobody needed to do that. It was obvious in what Dion wasn't saying more than in what he was, and if people don't think he wouldn't confess to a crime if he could then I don't think they knew him as well as they may have thought. I can't claim to have known him as well as others either, but...the Dion I know is a man who's done some terrible things that he regrets and that he's still trying to recover from. I don't think he would hide. He'd want to be found.
[ ... ] To be honest with you, Shouxue, I think it's only a little easier for me because this isn't the first time I've been in a situation like this. I mean not...to this extent. But back home, we were just finishing with a murder investigation and solving a serial killing case. Things got bad for a while, and I think I learned that you can't scream or cry or force people to do anything because they'll still act the way they think is best for them. Even if it might hurt you. [ ... ] I'm not going to stop trying. Sparing feelings only delays the problem anyway. But...it does mean a lot to me to hear you say that.
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[ she is less frustrated now than she was then. ]
You have? [ she's surprised, but it puts enough into context, especially with how he's reacted and their conversations. she is sorry anyone has to deal with anything like this at any time. (it is all of them, as they are all dealing with murder after murder. ] There is a clarity that comes with experience.
Most of my ghosts are isolated murders or deaths. It's already tragic enough, but serial killing... You must have gone through so much.
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[ or maybe that's his projection. he doesn't reply to the rest of that immediately because...he is from an uchikoshi game, there are so many things that have gone wrong in his life. ]
...he was active about six years ago and then went dormant. The police couldn't follow the trail and the case went cold for a while. But something recently happened to make the case resurface. [ ... ] They called it the Half-Body Serial Killings, because the guy behind it would cut his victims into two even halves, leaving them in different parts of the city. The first body that was found belonged to a man named Jin Furue. But only the right half. Six years later, his left half was left in the middle of the field at Tokyo stadium. They had to reopen the case, especially when the culprit turned up dead, too.
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That's a horrific way to murder. The culprit was found dead? Did someone take it into their own hands?
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