And yet there are plenty of people who think they're above it all and better for it. [ he does notice this, and he wonders again just what sort of life she's led where there's too much responsibility and something holding her back. ]
But I guess it also depends where a person draws a line. What counts as selfishness, and what counts as doing whatever it takes?
Circumstances do matter. People shouldn't be painted in broad strokes or in black and white, but some behavior is egregious to the point that it's not worth it to see if there is an underlying reason.
[ she doesn't think everyone is worth the effort to see where the line falls. ]
[ hm. he both does and doesn't agree with this, because he does know circumstances matter. of course they do. there are usually two sides to things, but there are just some things that shouldn't happen in the first place. and likewise, there are some behaviors that are forgivable even if they're abhorrent from other people. so he's quiet for a second as he thinks of what to say. ]
...something to keep in mind for situations like this, too. [ murder, he means, and the ensuing chaos of finding the truth. ]
...you noticed, too, huh? [ it's what he's been thinking about, and he's not really addressing how he felt about those thoughts and emotions so much as he is contemplating why they came up the way they did. ] I don't believe that this was all by his own choice no matter what he says. Despite everything I doubt either of them would actually hurt each other to the point of destroying each other. Not when the whole point of being a Reliver is to keep living as long as you can.
He said his goal was the preservation of life. Even if he thinks it was him or that it wasn't not him, there has to be something else to make him go against his primary intuition.
[ it doesn't make too much sense otherwise. she just doesn't know what it could be. ]
My thought was that it was probably something else that changed his brain chemistry somehow and took control of him. Maybe something in our nanites, or something else that made its way into his body. He's been conscious of everything else and hasn't changed too much outside of this, but the rest feels like something else is dictating his responses.
It sounds like you've experienced something like this before. [ it's a quiet observation more than anything else. ] You think he's been influenced in some way? We have been introduced to a lot in a short time, so finding a way to narrow it down may be helpful.
[ if it is something like the nanites or something adjacent to it. she doesn't know how to narrow it down, but she is mostly throwing some of her thoughts out into the void. ]
The only thing that I know of that is similar is when a ghost possesses someone, but their entire personality changes to the ghost's, and the person who's possessed isn't aware of what happens when they're possessed.
[ so it's not really the same, she thinks, nor is it applicable in this situation when she hasn't seen or heard much about ghosts on this ship. ]
[ he is respectfully ignoring that observation which is possibly telling enough. ]
I do, yeah. I'm sure you could say that it was just because he was overloaded with all of the emotions from people as well, but...that still doesn't feel right. It wouldn't have been that simple, not with how everything went. [ though, to that point: ] The other thing we have to think about is that none of us were actually awake at the same time as Dahut and Scien. How do we know that something didn't adapt his entire personality during those hours and then went dormant for the trial? Can a ghost do that? Like...just stay inside a person and take over whenever they want.
If it were only him and Dahut after everyone fell unconscious, he would have time away from all our emotions, too. [ she thinks scien was overloaded by the end of trial, but on thursday night? it had to be something else than being surrounded by all their emotions. ] It is unfortunate that the only one who could tell us how different Scien was or wasn't would have been Dahut.
[ it's the kind of circumstances she could do without. ]
I usually expel ghosts when I see them possess someone, but from the stories I've heard, yes. They can come and go in when they take over a person's consciousness.
Yeah...it means we lost not only a good person but a good source. [ it's just sad, he thinks. all of it. ]
Even if it's not a ghost, I'm starting to think maybe that's something we should be watching out for. Fluctuations in a person's behavior when something might be coming and going from them. It's...hard to know exactly how people are going to think and behave because we still don't know each other well, but it's worth a try.
[ the look he gives her is kind of like "thank you?" but he doesn't verbally say it. he just nods. ]
...it's probably what I'm best at. [ which does admittedly make him nervous in a place where people can kill people so easily, but it's fine. ] But I'd rather try than not, too. Ruling out something is still getting closer to an answer. So...we keep an eye out for anything unusual.
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she tilts her head, and her emotion is she doesn't understand what it says about her because she's stupid in this particular way. ]
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...a lot of people wouldn't care or even notice if a person's treatment changed how they felt. So many of them are just focused on themselves.
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Selfishness is a more noticeable poison.
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But I guess it also depends where a person draws a line. What counts as selfishness, and what counts as doing whatever it takes?
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[ she doesn't think everyone is worth the effort to see where the line falls. ]
Nuisances are still nuisances.
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...something to keep in mind for situations like this, too. [ murder, he means, and the ensuing chaos of finding the truth. ]
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Something was not quite right. It was gruesome, but I have to wonder.... how it happened that way.
[ despite not knowing scien that well, the thoughts and the emotions at the end of trial that were displayed hinted that something was off. ]
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He said his goal was the preservation of life. Even if he thinks it was him or that it wasn't not him, there has to be something else to make him go against his primary intuition.
[ it doesn't make too much sense otherwise. she just doesn't know what it could be. ]
What could have made him act that way?
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My thought was that it was probably something else that changed his brain chemistry somehow and took control of him. Maybe something in our nanites, or something else that made its way into his body. He's been conscious of everything else and hasn't changed too much outside of this, but the rest feels like something else is dictating his responses.
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[ if it is something like the nanites or something adjacent to it. she doesn't know how to narrow it down, but she is mostly throwing some of her thoughts out into the void. ]
The only thing that I know of that is similar is when a ghost possesses someone, but their entire personality changes to the ghost's, and the person who's possessed isn't aware of what happens when they're possessed.
[ so it's not really the same, she thinks, nor is it applicable in this situation when she hasn't seen or heard much about ghosts on this ship. ]
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I do, yeah. I'm sure you could say that it was just because he was overloaded with all of the emotions from people as well, but...that still doesn't feel right. It wouldn't have been that simple, not with how everything went. [ though, to that point: ] The other thing we have to think about is that none of us were actually awake at the same time as Dahut and Scien. How do we know that something didn't adapt his entire personality during those hours and then went dormant for the trial? Can a ghost do that? Like...just stay inside a person and take over whenever they want.
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[ it's the kind of circumstances she could do without. ]
I usually expel ghosts when I see them possess someone, but from the stories I've heard, yes. They can come and go in when they take over a person's consciousness.
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Even if it's not a ghost, I'm starting to think maybe that's something we should be watching out for. Fluctuations in a person's behavior when something might be coming and going from them. It's...hard to know exactly how people are going to think and behave because we still don't know each other well, but it's worth a try.
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[ which is to say she doesn't really disagree with anything he's said here. she is less analytical and more investigational by request. ]
There's no harm in trying to track it. Trying something is better than not at all, and if we prove or disprove it, we know where to go.
[ or where not to go. ]
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...it's probably what I'm best at. [ which does admittedly make him nervous in a place where people can kill people so easily, but it's fine. ] But I'd rather try than not, too. Ruling out something is still getting closer to an answer. So...we keep an eye out for anything unusual.